The famous scientist was asked, whether he could tell what were the
five happiest years of his life. “of course”, said the famous man. “the five
years I studied in first class”.
Rumor
A professor at a local university has just received a large grant to
study the effectiveness of kevlar army helmets against bullet impact.
I hear he’s looking for more grad students...
Descartes’s reply
Bartender : Mr. Descartes, do you drink something?
Descartes : I DON’T THINK AND DISAPPEARED...
Smart Rat
Q : what did one lab rat say to the other?
A : “I’ve got my scientist so well trained that every time i push the
buzzer, he brings me a snack
Scientist and God
One day a group of Darwinian scientists got together and decided that
man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one Darwinian
to go and tell im that they were done with Him.
The Darwinian walked up to God and said, “God, we have decided that we
no longer need you. We’re to the point that we can clone people and do many
miraculous things, so why don’t you just go and get lost”
God listened very patiently and kindly to the man. After the Darwinian
was done talking, God said, “very well, how about this? Let’s say we have a
man-making contest”, to which the Darwinian happily agreed.
God added “now, we’re going to do this just like I did back in the old
days with Adam”.
The Darwinian said “sure, no problem”, and bent down and grabbed
himself a handful of dirt.
God looked at him and said “no, no, no. You go get your own dirt!!!”.
Dating Dinosaur Bones
Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at
the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, “can you tell me how old the
dinosaur boner are?”
The guard replies “they are 73 million, four years, and six months
ole”.
“That’s an awfully exact number” say the tourist.
“how do you know their age so precisely?”
The guard answers “well, the dinosaur bones were seventy three million
years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago”.
Why do men like love at first sight?
Answer from a female: it saves them a lot of time!
Answer from a male : love will vanish when she opens her mouth!
Self Defense
They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love,
after marriage, it is self defense!
